Who would have thought that the boy that you've fallen completely in love with was the person that doesn't wanna be with you ? Well he never told me that he didn't wanna be with me, but he seems to dodge it everytime i confront him about it. I'm just sick & tired of crying & putting him before anything. I put my heart out for him, everything I did was for him. My friends warned me not to do it, but I didn't listen & did it anyways, & in the end he ended up leaving my heart behind & taking someone elses. Why is it that he always see's the good in other people but doesn't see it in me ? He ends up getting hurt in the end, & im still here standing by him dying inside, but strong enough to help him through it. Where will he ever find another friend like me ? Someone who is soo in love with him, but yet still tries to help out his relationships with others ? I feel like I was the only person there for him.
We had an argument today around 9PM; & when i looked at the timestamp, our argument ended at 11PM. 2 straight hours with us just going at it; didnt solve ANYTHING at all, & still isn't solved. I'm gonna confront him tommorow, I can't go on with this tension between us. Me & him argue like once or twice a month, but it was never serious til now. This is the biggest argument we've ever had, & I feel like i'm losing him as a friend, but maybe we can surpass all this & just move on ?
I don't know though, I never felt this way about anyone ever in my life, he's truly one of a kind & he's a fuckin confusing person, but I love him. I guess you can call him my enemy, so basically, I fell in love with the enemy ...
PT. 2
Today was the last day of school, & it went pretty good until 6th & 7th period. We take out 6 & 7 exams before 1 -5; IDK why, but we do, so that means today was our final day in 6 & 7th. My friend sophia wrote in my yearbook and i read it in 6th; and i started crying reading it halfway; and the whole class gave me a hug. I truly will miss that class, sewing my jeans in there, & making clothes; wow that was a fun year in there. & then 7th period was chorus, the drama-filled class with me & * HIM *. He signed my yearbook at the end, but i guess he didnt finish because the bell rang, but when i was walking to my bus at the end i read it and started crying soo bad. On the bus, Amaris came & held me because i was crying sooo baddd. Realizing that i'm not ever gonna be in school with him ever again hurt me like hell. Obviously i fckin hate him right now though ( if you read Pt. 1 ); but damn ... i sure will miss his sexy self lol; but more than that, just to be with him & talk about dumb things...
WELLL this was my day today; i didnt explain EVERYTHING that happened, but you sure do get the point...
3 comments:
*sigh* did that argument occur during school, anthony?? cause i don't really remember the time frame we were talking on aim about his fakeness & liarnessness.
ohh, ok... well, don't get too worked up about it. none of it's ya fault. he shouldn't have been such a liar & a fake.
damn i can relate to you on this entry boo . cept i couldnt have the courage to cry in public i keep it bottled up when i get home . but he will soon realize what hes missing .
and reading yearbook entrys are tear jerkers .. thats why i try to avoid the sad moments and focus on the future and changing myself and moving on .
but i feel u 120% bout loving someone who doesnt love you back . it hurts and sucks at the same time. its even worse when they dont know it =/ but hang in there pa .
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