UGHHH.

it seems like everytime i write in here, there's always a million things i wanna talk about; but i could write a book with the shit that's gone on this week.

im not gonna call the boy im talking about him no more; im actually gonna say his name now because i just dont care anymore. well it's not anything new that me & eddie argued again; that's a typical conversation between me & him. i realize that i do start every fight with him; but i don't mean to. i argue with him because it's the only way to get my point across to him, without it, he'd just ignore what i say & change the subject on me. i ask myself every single day " why am i in love with this boy ? " ; & i finally found the answer; he's everything i've ever wanted, & i won't stop 'til he's mine. & no it's not because he's cute; it's more than that. i LOVE his personality & his swagg.

our most recent argument, hopefully the last; i finally came out to him. i mean, he KNOWS that i like him ever since like march; but he never knew how i felt deep inside, & he didn't even know what to say after me pouring my heart out. i NEVER felt this way about any boy in my life; & i cant help the fact that i've fallen completely in love with him. how'd we go from bestfriends; to me falling in love with my bestfriend ? is it wrong for me to love him ? IDK. but we haven't talked since then; & it's given me time to think about it, & i've realized that i truly do love him. i would do anything for this boy, & when i say anything, anything. money, a ride [ when i get a car ], gifts. i probably would buy everything for him, that's how much i love him. i wouldnt do this for just anyone.

UGHH; throughout all this shit, he still doesn't see that i love him with all my heart. he's still blind, & left me with blank answers. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like i've done everything i could; but i guess its not good enough. I guess i'm gonna have to fight for it now; & trust, I won't give up. He's someone i'll never give up on, i believe that we do have a chance, I just have to show him even more.


I've had other fun things happen to me this week, but i'm not gonna write about it because it's gonna ruin the mood of this entry, lol. =[