Purple Against Homphobia

I remember back in Elementary school when everyone thought I acted like a girl and that I was a faggot, but that wasn't when it hurt. It was middle school when I got tormented & bullied for sounding like a girl ( I didn't go through puberty until 7th grade ). The way I walked was criticized, and the way that I held myself was considered a "faggot". Every single day I would hear kids behind me talk about how i'm a faggot & i'm gay. That's when I decided to keep it to myself. I thought being gay was wrong. I wanted to kill myself. Suicidal thoughts came rushing through my head, people who i've considered my friends backstabbed me in middle school, taking the side of the ones that tormented me. I acted tough, at least on the outside I did, inside I was deeply crumbling, feeling like I had no place in this world. Having absolutely no friends in middle school made me feel not only an outcast, but the "faggot". Also got called "Fruity Tooty", females made fun of me, but the males more. Physical Education was the worst. I didn't know how to play any of the sports, except for swimming. When it came to Basketball / Football, I always got picked last, & whichever team I ended up on, I got made fun of. I eventually stopped bring gym clothes & sat either on the bleachers, or the teacher would make me walk around the field. It affected my grade, but they didn't understand the abuse i've gotten from students from whom teachers call "amazing students". To me, everyone in middle school was evil, except for a few who were just like me who went through the same shit.
Suicide was the only thing running through my head in middle school. Being 11-13, I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but with all this breaking me down, I felt like I Was unworthy for life. Being gay was wrong to me, tried my best to be attracted to females, even claimed to be straight to hide my true sexuality, and overtime I became unhappy. Pretending to be okay in school, but crying & thinking suicide inside. I thought about doing many things to myself. I thought about suffocating myself, stabbing my heart, overdosing on pills, etc. to kill myself. Why ? Because apparently I felt un-loved, unwanted, & not worthy. Luckily, I never went through it, because I loved my family too much & I know it would affect them to no end.

Middleschool was the turning point, elementary school was a fairytale, Middle School became a nightmare, & High school became reality.

Freshmen year of high school I realized that there were lesbians & gays who were out of the closet, they gave me the strength to come out to a few of my closest friends that I made my freshmen year. Then sophomore year, I came out to the entire school. Well I didn't, but the gossip spread around the school that i'm out of the closet. Everyone already knew, but I was scared, scared to be judged, scared that I would want to kill myself again. The amazing support i've gotten made me gain even more friends, & made me feel even more comfortable with myself. I basically lived High school very well, I must say.

Now that i'm confident with myself, and comfortable in my own skin, I feel that it's my turn to speak out. I know how it feels, I know how it feels to be bullied to no end, abused to the point where suicide seems like the only solution, but it's not. In order for you to live your life happily, you have to stand your own ground, & fight back to those who attack. Be proud, & be a rolemodel to those who are in the closet, who are terrified of the outcome of coming out the closet. Show them that it DOES get better.

Watching the news about students killing themselves over homophobia is a sign that we must fight those who oppose us. We are just as equal as any other person in this world. I'm tired of bans being put on us, treating us like we're aliens. I'm sick of the Homophobic people, how can you hate somebody just because of who they love? Who they are attracted to ? Is that a sin ? To fall in love with someone of the same sex, how is that wrong? Love is love, & it should always be that way. How dare these homophobs say that we are the wrong ones & that we're going to hell ? YOU are the wrong ones, judging someone based on their preference. There's plenty of issues going on now, but Gays seems to top the charts in news.

If we stick together, show our strength & power, mostly our PRIDE, we can win this constant battle / debate. We can really make a change, so show your pride people, upload videos, write blogs, create groups, places where people can be inspired to show their pride, & most importantly, show everyone that WE ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, A HUMAN BEING.